So I just went to the hardware store. It was
weird to see the store in such a calm state, like my friend’s life wasn’t falling apart at the exact same time. It’s weird how life just goes on in the face of disaster. Like my friend’s life is at a complete stop right now and there’s nothing any one of us can do about it. That’s why it was so weird to see life just go on as normal. Life doesn’t feel normal right now. I assume when something like that happens the whole world stops, but I guess that’s not really the case.
I was putting on as much of a calm front as possible. I wonder how many people were doing the same thing. The people who served me at the hardware store near Be
ntleigh shops had no idea that I was mentally falling apart. I’m sure I seemed cool, calm and collected, and so did they. I wonder if they had anything going on in their own lives that they were trying to keep under wraps too. It’s impossible to know what’s going on in someone’s life if you don’t ask them. And if they’re working, they’re not going to talk about the hardships in their lives. It just wouldn’t come up naturally.
Anyway, I’m home now and I’m just so sad. I can’t even imagine being in my friend’s position. It would be horrific. I feel so helpless just waiting for the news. I feel like I’m in a daze and everything is falling apart around me but I can’t do anything about it. My anxiety is through the roof. I just can’
t take it. This is too much. I’m so overwhelmed by the feeling. I feel constantly shaky. It’s just too much. I need to try and distract myself by making the most of my recently purchased building supplies. In the Cheltenham area, it’s not commonly accepted that people are struggling, so I have to toughen up and pretend I’m not for the time being.
The only way I’ll be okay though is if my friend’s dad is okay.